Twinkie Lip Balm

I was very skeptical about this one when I first saw it. I don't even really like Twinkies and I hate the fuckin mascot. Fuck that cowboy Twinkie. Who the fuck does he think he is? A delicious cake version of John Wayne? I remember putting it on and it totally raping my mind with its 2 1/2 inch chap stick dick. It supplies all the chap my lips need while satisfying me with a vanilla/yellow bread flavor that does not disappoint. One my definite faves.

Cinnabon Lip Balm

One of my all time favorites. This shit tastes hella fuckin good. I remember putting this shit on before Ive ever actually been to a Cinnabon. The first time I had a Cinnabon I thought, "This is alright, but its not as good as the muthafuckin lip chap that I have in my muthafuckin pocket." You know when you open this cap, you're in for a badass treat. Its the gift that keeps on giving, well until it runs out and you have to buy a new one at a store that caters to dumbass preteens and their bitch ass moms.

Dr Pepper Chap-stick

This is the first chap stick I have ever really purchased. My mom would make me wear some so my lips didnt look all ashy, but this is the first one I ever really bought. When I first put it on, I imagined in being the same feeling gay guys get when they find out they are gay. It felt all good and made my lips all moist. The flavor was just like a real Dr. Pepper. I guess it was my gateway drug into the world of chap stick.

Chapstick

All things Chap-stick!!!